You are more than your wounds
Reflections on my souls journey to actualize myself outside of my wounds.
It wasn't until my awareness pushed me to face myself and seek guidance from mentorship and a therapist that my spiritual home was found.
See for years, I was self-aware of my habit of self-doubt, insecurity, anxiety, and the tendency to compare. There were moments where I felt comfortable with who I was and my differences but deep down inside I felt a sense of loneliness in the difference of my path. I didn't realize I was in a cycle of feeding my wounded ego through habits like seeking validation in such a way that allowed treatment from people who made me feel inferior. In the grand scheme of things I attracted people, relationships, and situations that would reflect back how dangerous seeking validation truly was.
“I didn't realize I was in a cycle of feeding my wounded ego through habits like seeking validation in such a way that allowed treatment from people who made me feel inferior. In the grand scheme of things I attracted people, relationships, and situations that would reflect back how dangerous seeking validation truly was.”
Self-awareness gets you but so far without self-reflection, shadow work, and application. Things that often require an elder and community to help you move through but we often opt to do alone. It seemed like years after seeing a pattern of wounds and feelings recreating themselves I was finally in a place where I could receive the knowledge necessary to move out of the prison I unconsciously created. Being misguided and imprisoned by my own wounds for so long cost me a relationship I wanted so badly to manifest. See… pain and lack of mentorship and study can cause you to experience some of the worst soul lessons imaginable, especially as an empathetic being....so tread lightly my friends and don't listen to every spirit that whispers in your ear or the ear of a friend. Everyone can't clearly hear and process spiritual messages and every spirit that whispers ain’t a benevolent ancestor. For some spirits don’t want what's best for you and seek to take you away from the very people and ancestors who mean you the most good. Iykyk…
In October 2022, I was given access to a class by Dr.Rudolph Ware called the Seven Stages of the Soul that explored soul development from the perspective of Islam and It was so eye-opening, mind-blowing, and refreshing. I felt like the class was indeed mapping my experience and journey up until that point in a way I couldn't always put to words. In a way I didn't always know how to talk about. It made me see my chaos and journey in a way that was truly just a gateway to another stage in my soul development. It helped me see that I wasn't crazy those past 7 years, yes 7! and that I was indeed just journeying like everyone else through the seven stages of the soul. This class humbled me in a healthy way and allowed me to see more intimately into the human experience from a perspective I hadn't before. I learned many of us (especially those in our twenties) whether we admit it or not are usually only in the very first TWO stages of soul development. A majority of the world is their for their whole lives. See this world, social media, and the ego of many spiritual practitioners would like the masses to think they're more evolved than others but we’re all just souls having a human experience. When we take a step back, lean into a healthy sense of humility, and let our ego take a back seat, we see ourselves and others in a whole new light.
See this world, social media, and the ego of many spiritual practitioners would like the masses to think they're more evolved than others but we’re all just souls having a human experience.
In lieu of that, I've decided to share the notes, lessons, and reflections I wrote down in the short time I was in the class. When I reflect on that time and my journal I realize how each point was the very habits my traumatized soul went through and got out of. While recognizing healing isn't linear and we may find ourselves at any moment wrestling with these stages once again.
In the class Dr.Ware started "you want to learn a thing but you remain ignorant of it"...And so many of us whether we admit it or not want to understand/learn about and heal our trauma, but remain ignorant of how this trauma shows up within us and our relationships.
Here’s some points I noted from Dr.Rudolph Ware on the first two stages of soul development.
“The traumatized soul loves being in a state of victimhood, lives within its trauma, and recreates it around them.”
“The traumatized souls seek validation because they don't feel secure in their own thoughts, body, and reality.”
“The traumatized soul rationalizes blaming others and is not accountable to how those wounds show up.”
“The most important war is the war over the soul and your most important investment is your spiritual and mental liberation.”
“To learn and grow past trauma you have to want to learn about the desires of your wounds and how they show up.”
“It's important to accept that God has decreed your destiny and path. It's important to accept it even if you don't agree with the unjust that comes with it.”
“The more your soul is in the unredeemed state the more you worship your wounds! Let it go!! You are more than your wounds”
“Unredeemed state = feeding/worshiping wounds”
“Redeemed state = worshiping God/self-love”
Here are some raw excerpts from my journal:
“Your souls are called to testify God’s presence.” - Dr. Rudolph Ware
I would love to hear your thoughts and how this may resonate or reflect back some lessons you have or are currently experiencing. The Soul Space is a space for all our thoughts and reflections not just mine.
If you would like to take the class for yourself here's the link
Seven Stages of the Soul | The Journey of the Soul is one of Purification, not destruction.
Affirm
My wounds are not my God.
My wounds do not tell me who I am.
God tells me who I am.
I love y’all,
7souljah